1.01.2010

over it

im sorry.
fucking stupid=me
have to get over my mind
have to get over my insecurities
when i cry a river i have to build a bridge and get fucking over it

you prove to me over and over how much you love me. your always there for me. and your always going to be there. you come with me when i go somewhere. and i always push it away. i doubt it. i forget about it. i never believe it. i hope i realize that i do believe it. in it. it. because you are amazing. youre never going to let go. your going to take care of me. thank you.
im sorry i broke so many ornaments and left you to clean up.
im sorry if i do this again.
i need to take control of myself.
i need to know what i see.
i need to calm down.
i need to relax.

i love you.

3 comments:

allilion said...

i've thought these exact same thoughts- feeling so undeserving of such love, having to find some problem with it due to its perfection, always, always ruining such perfection. but i love him with all my heart, and he loves me just the same- sometimes the truth is just foggy and all you feel is ugly, undeserving, self loathing, and a big bout of jealousy.

rudeawakenings said...

Jessica; you are a beautiful person inside and out. I want you to be happy, no matter what. Follow your heart but let your head in on some of the action. You scared me on new years, juicyfruit. But from what I know of Kris he loves you and he cares about you alot, but just always do what makes you happy, ok? It's what I've finally learnt how to do.

Rafé said...

beautifully written, I'd say

"when i cry a river i have to build a bridge and get fucking over it" this was even quotable, very clever

as for the structure, well it's irreplaceable, and it only leaves one question. What is over your mind?